Goofy

Drafting Guys Over 60 This is funny & obviously written by a Former Soldier... New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60! am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35. For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy. Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for awhile.. An 18-year-old doesn't even liketo get up before 10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing somefanatical son-of-a-bitch.If captured we couldn't spill thebeans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling. They could lighten up on the obstacle course however... I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training. Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too... I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet. An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head. These are all great reasons to keepour kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way. Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want tosee is a couple million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them. HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50...in menopause!!! You think MEN have attitudes??Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!

A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless panties in an attempt to spice up her dead sex life. She puts them on, together with a short skirt and sits on the sofa opposite her husband. At strategic moments she uncrosses her legs ... enough times that her husband finally asks, "Are you wearing crotchless panties?" "Y-e-s," she answers with a seductive smile. "Thank God - I thought you were sitting on the cat."

http://apod.nasa.gov/apod/ap111121.html

http://www.maximumpc.com/article/gaming/wtf_ea_forum_bans_locking_customers_out_their_games

ok you noobs here is my origin nickname if you want to add me jabber63

http://ak.imgag.com/...125133/graphic1

An elderly Scottish Jew has decided to take it a little easier and take up golf. So he puts his name down at the local club. After a week he receives a message that his application has been turned down. So he goes down to the club to inquire why. Secretary: You are aware that this is a Scottish golf club? Scot: Aye but I am as Scottish as you are Jock. Secretary: This means that on formal occasions we wear kilts. Scot: Aye, so do I. Secretary: You are aware that we wear nothing under our kilts? Scot: Aye, neither do I. Secretary: But you are a Jew? Scot: Aye, I be that. Secretary: So you are circumcised? Scot: Aye, I be that too. Secretary: I am terribly sorry, but the members just would not feel comfortable with that. Scot: Ach, away with ya man. I know that you have to be a Protestant to march with the Orangemen. And I know that you have to be a Catholic to become a Knight of Columbus. But this is the first time I heard, that you have to be a complete prick to join a golf club.

http://www.maximumpc.com/article/news/patent_troll_sues_restaurants_and_hotels_offering_wi-fi_copies_riaas_slimy_tactics

http://www.maximumpc.com/article/news/battlefield_3_servers_hacked_allow_more_players_dice_threatens_curious_gamers

Golf Club Sign Here is an actual sign posted at a golf club in Scotland 1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT, FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART. 2. FORM A LOOSE GRIP. 3. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN! 4. AVOID A QUICK BACK SWING. 5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER. 6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.. 7. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU 8. DON'T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS. 9. QUIET PLEASE...WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING. 10. DON'T TAKE EXTRA STROKES. WELL DONE….. NOW, FLUSH THE URINAL GO OUTSIDE, AND TEE OFF.

Good example of a Brain Study: If you can read this you have a strong mind: 7H15 M3554G3 53RV35 7O PR0V3 H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N D0 4M4Z1NG 7H1NG5! 1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5! 1N 7H3 B3G1NN1NG 17 WA5 H4RD BU7 N0W, 0N 7H15 LIN3 Y0UR M1ND 1S R34D1NG 17 4U70M471C4LLY W17H 0U7 3V3N 7H1NK1NG 4B0U7 17, B3 PROUD! 0NLY C3R741N P30PL3 C4N R3AD 7H15.

hehe funny EA made the game for the PC first and consoles second also it shows what happens to scenes when you can't upgrade your video cards ie consoles, like you can the pc, http://www.maximumpc.com/article/news/battlefield_3_team_releases_xbox_gameplay_trailer_along_pc_comparison

why you need your house cleaned

A woman went into a store to buy her husband a pet for his birthday. After looking around, she found that all the pets were very expensive. She told the clerk she wanted to buy a pet,but she didn't want to spend a fortune. 'Well,' said the clerk, 'I have a very large bullfrog. They say it's been trained to give blow jobs!' 'Blow jobs!' the woman replied. 'It hasn't been proven but we've sold 30 of them this month,' he said. The woman thought it would be a great gag gift, and what if it's true... No more blow jobs for her! She bought the frog. When she explained froggy's ability to her husband,he was extremely skeptical and laughed it off!... The woman went to bed happy,thinking she may never need to perform this less than riveting act again. In the middle of the night, she was awakenedby the noise of pots and pans flying everywhere,making hellacious banging and crashing sounds. She ran downstairs to the kitchen, only to find her husbandand the frog reading cook books. 'What are you two doing at this hour?' she asked. The husband replied, 'If I can teach this frog to cook...you're gone.'

HappY BDAY you old fart you

first reaction is should i be stoned or drunk to watch that LOL

congrats numbnuts

ok ppl if you want a good series to watch it is Call Me Fitz on HBO it is hilarious

Happy BDAY JP you old fart you

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uXjTDZwU8b0&feature=player_embedded

You Gotta Love This One When NASA first planned to send up astronauts, they quicklydiscovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $1.2 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down,underwater, on almost any surface including glass, and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to +300 C. Confronted with the same problem, the Canadians used a pencil. APARTMENT for RENT THIS IS TOO FUNNY ... SOMETHING TO START THE DAY OFF!!! A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500. They did their thing, and, before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but he would have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment 'RENT FOR APARTMENT.' On the way to the office, he regretted what he had done, realizing that the whole event had not been the price. So he had his secretary send a check for $250 and enclose the following typed note: Dear Madam: Enclosed find a check for $250 for rent of your apartment . I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the place, I was under the impression that: #1 - it had never been occupied; #2 - there was plenty of heat; and #3 - it was small enough to make me feel cozy and at home. However, I found out that: #1 - it had been previously occupied, #2 - there wasn't any heat, and #3 - it was entirely too large. Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check for $250 with the following note: Dear Sir: #1 - I cannot understand how you could expect a apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely. #2 - As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you know how to turn it on. #3 - Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture to fill it, please do not blame the management. So, Please send the rent in full or we will be forced to contact your present landlady... !!

Doggie is part of the Trio would say JP but he is still a youngun

hey Cyco welcome and Sadik lies he ain't the weirdo he is part of the perv trio

lol tell me about it don't get into a helicopter with him

Getting the game might need Video upgrade but sure as hell ain't flying, easy to go up and go down and crash LOL